Ready to meet your boyfriend’s parents?
Are you ready to meet the parents of the boyfriend you are dating for the first time? Your face freezes and sweat starts to dribble down your forehead as your boyfriend says he wants to take you home before fall semester starts. Relationships are hard enough as it is without the pressures of meeting his family.
“What do I wear? What do I bring? What do I say?” But no
matter how many times you bug your boyfriend for dirt, all he says is “don’t worry
about it, you’ll do fine,” which is the last thing you want to hear – especially when the nerve-inducing thoughts come to mind.
Matchmaker and dating coach Karla Moore can put all your worries at ease. Having founded her own matchmaking company for sharp and savvy singles, her tips and expertise can be helpful when meeting the parents. They can also lead to finding your special someone when you’re away at college.
College Lifestyles: What are the dos for meeting his family? Don’ts?
Karla S. Moore:
-Do remember all the basics:
1. Remember to refer to his parents by their last name even if they insist otherwise.
2. Shake hands; do to not initiate a hug unless the mother insists.
3. If there is alcohol present have one drink or none.
4. No talk about your ex, sex, politics or religion.
5. Remember to smile and dress appropriately. Keep it classy & conservative.
6. Bring fresh flowers.
-Do take a deep breath and tell yourself that you are going to have an open mind and are not going to be judgmental.
-Do remember if this man is to be your husband you are marrying his parents as well: functional or dysfunctional.
-Do be very mindful that this meeting has the power to draw him closer to you or repel him away.
-Do remember that your potential relationship with his mother is a very important one if your relationship with him is to stay on a positive trajectory.”
-Don’t initiate meeting his parents; let him initiate introducing you to his parents. If he brings it up, down play your excitement to meet them.
-Don’t misinterpret you meeting his parents as him saying indirectly that he wants to marry you. It is a false assumption. If you are really into him I cannot emphasis this enough.
-Don’t insert yourself into any conversation about complicated family dynamics. IOW (In other words) stay in your lane.”
CL: When is the right time to introduce your beau to your parents?
KM: “Consider introducing your boyfriend to your parents after he has introduced you to his parents. If the conditions are right and you have met his parents bring up the topic around month 9 – 12. There is no rush for this, especially if he has not proposed to you.”
CL: How can you make it easier for your parents to fall in love with your significant other when they meet for the first time?
KM: “Set up a dinner engagement where your mother doesn’t have to do any heavy lifting. Keep the hassle factor low for your parents. You need to make this an easy experience for your parents. This will keep the stress to a minimum for them. They will appreciate it.
“Bottom line, your parents are either going to like him or not. Try not to stress too much about it. Perhaps ask your boyfriend to refrain from hot topics that will send your parents into a tail spin, but other than that – just enjoy the experience.”
CL: What would you say is the key to a long-lasting and healthy relationship?
KM: “The key to having a long lasting, healthy relationship is first for both people to be as unselfish as possible. Being in a healthy relationship is work and requires each person to be committed to the growth of the relationship.
‘My husband and I have harmony in the following core areas that keep our marriage happy & healthy:
Chemistry/sex, spirituality, money and our sensibilities around raising children.’ ”
KM: “NineGPS™ was a brain child I created out of profound revelations after my first marriage. When I attracted my current husband eight years ago I was convinced that the inner work and strategies that I put into practice worked for me and could work for others. I co-created the perfect man for me using the NineGPS Method.”
CL: Is there an interesting story of how your parents meet your beau or any other former beau?
KM: “No interesting stories here. I will say that I adored my husband’s parents from the moment I met them. My mother-in-law and I have a wonderful relationship to this day. The closeness that we share has a big impact on how my husband and I relate to one another. I believe when we think of marriage we must remember that we are marrying our future husband’s parents too to a large degree.”
Moore leaves CL with these parting words:
“Be yourself, but be the best version of yourself. Be friendly and warm but keep an eye on the natural urge to divulge too much information and being overly opinionated. Parents want to see their son with a woman who sincerely cares about their child. Never underestimate how important it is for your relationship with his mother to get off on the right foot. “
For more information, contact Karla Moore at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Original article can be viewed at College Lifestyles.
© Copyright 2013 Shala Nettles & Karla Moore. All Rights Reserved.